School and food allergies

Since Paxton started school it has taken the food allergy concern to a whole new level. He is only at school from 1:15 to 3:45 so they don't eat a meal at school. That doesn't mean that a child in his class didn't eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on their way to school and still has the residue on their fingers. That doesn't mean that at the holiday parties there won't be tons of food, candy and treats with eggs and milk in them that he can't have.

His teachers are aware of his food allergies and are very respectful of this situation. They do a cooking project every Friday, and Paxton's teachers have been ever so gracious to include me in the decision making for the menu. The homeroom mother is also AWESOME and will include special instructions to the parents that when bringing food for the cooking projects there is a child with a severe peanut allergy in the class. All of this is very helpful and I am so appreciative. What most people don't understand is that it is so much more involved than you can imagine, unless you are living it.

Paxton can eat pretzels. Only Rold Gold brand, though. He can eat chocolate chips. Only Enjoy Life. He can have marshmallows but not marshmallows fluff. He can't have anything made by Little Debbie or Stauffer's. Pretty much everything made by Great Value is processed in a facility that contains nuts so that is all off limits. He can't have regular butter. He can hardly have anything that comes in a package, however you aren't allowed to bring homemade treats to school due to the "peanut free" policy (basically, if you are bringing a snack for everyone in the class it has to be peanut free, however, you can bring whatever you want in your lunch). This means Paxton will have to sit a a peanut free table in the lunch room, possibly by himself. And the list goes on and on and on.

He is very aware of his allergies. He is also only 4. We let him eat pancakes at a restaurant (that he had eaten 2 days before with no problems at all) and he had 3 bites and started having a severe allergic reaction. This fills me with so much anxiety since the nurse's clinic is in a completely different building than his classroom and the cafeteria if something were to happen.

I am learning to trust Paxton, trust his teachers, and trust the school. This is NOT easy. I don't know if it ever will be. We take all the proper precautions by carrying an Epi-Pen, Benadryl, and steriods everywhere we go. If he is not in the care of me or Scott though, I can not be sure that the proper procedure will be followed if he has a reaction.

With Halloween fast approaching my anxiety level is rising as well. Anytime there is candy, for the most part, there is nuts, milk and eggs. We have a good system where we fill a bag full of candy he can have and when he is done trick-or-treating we switch the 'safe' bag with the trick-or-treat bag and let him eat away. We have to go home as soon as the other kids we are with start to eat their candy though since they could be eating a Snickers or something right next to him.

This is just a small glimpse into what goes into having a child with food allergies. This is a life threatening condition like many others, it is just managed without medicine. It is managed with avoidance. Don't get me wrong, I would take some food allergies over any other life threatening condition any day. I am not complaining in the slightest. I do not feel sorry for him or for me and Scott. It makes us a healthier, more food conscious family. I appreciate this situation and accept it with open arms. I am just saying that a lot of times it is not taken as seriously as it should be. This is SERIOUS!

I came across this list on a food allergy website and thought it was so perfect. I am going to start handing this out to everyone I know. I think I am going to make it my mission to educate people on food allergies. Not just the responsibility of keeping kids with food allergies safe, but the responsibility of keeping them included. There are a LOT of safe super yummy foods out there for people with food allergies that EVERYONE can enjoy. You just have to do a little label reading!

Ten Things Children with Food Allergies Want You to Know

Ten Things Children with Food Allergies Want You to Know
©2011 Gina Clowes

1. I long to be included.

I would like to look, act and eat like everyone else. I’d like to buy my lunch and sit wherever I want. I know I can’t, but I’m happy when someone cares enough to provide a safe potato chip, cookie or Popsicle for me. It’s nice when I can have something similar to what the other kids are eating and I love it when I can eat the same thing as everyone else. Whenever it’s possible, please think to include me!

2. I’m scared I could die from my food allergies.

I’ve heard my parents and teachers mention “life-threatening” food allergies and I remember having some reactions where I felt very sick and really scared. I saw how frightened my parents were too. Sometimes, I could use a little reassurance that I will be okay.

3. I feel like I’m the only one sometimes.

If you have a support group or know another way for me to meet other children who have food allergies, I would really like that. It would be nice to know that I’m not the only kid who has food allergies. Having another friend with food allergies in my classroom or to eat with me at lunch would help me too.

4. I get confused when grown-ups offer me food.

I know I’m supposed to be polite and listen to grown-ups, but my parents have told me I should only take food from them. When you offer food to me (especially candy), I’d like to take it but I’m unsure and don’t know what I should do.

5. If grown-ups kiss me, right after they’ve eaten something I’m allergic to, I’ll get itchy spots.

If your dog licks me, I’ll get itchy spots too. I don’t feel quite brave enough or know how to tell you this, but I’m hoping you will remember; if you’ve just eaten something that I’m allergic to, I may get hives so please don’t kiss me right after you’ve eaten that particular food.

6. I’m embarrassed when people fuss over what I’m eating.

I know I have to eat my own safe food, but it’s easier for me when I’m not singled out. Sometimes, I feel very embarrassed when grown-ups ask me a lot of questions. More than anything, I just want to fit in.

7. I hear all adult conversations about my food allergies.

My ears perk up when I hear grown-ups mention my name or my food allergies. Please don’t pity me or act terrified because that will cause me to feel frightened. Food allergies are just one part of me. Instead, let me overhear you list all the wonderful things about me!

8. Sometimes I’m sad about having food allergies.

It’s hard to be the only kid in the class not having a birthday cupcake and having to eat something different from my box of “safe treats”. What makes it worse, is knowing this will happen a lot throughout the year because there are 20 or more other birthdays in my class. I know it’s not the end of the world, but from my perspective, it’s pretty tough at times.

9. I’m watching you! You may think that I’m too little to notice, but I know when you forget my EpiPen® and return home to get it.

I watch you every time, when you’re reading the list of ingredients on my bag of Skittles. You are my role model and I’m learning how to manage my food allergies from you!

10. I will do about as well as you do.

My parents and other grown-ups “can-do” attitude will help me cope with the challenges of living with allergies and ensure that food allergies don’t stop me from being everything I was meant to be!