Nights like this

Tonight was cool and rainy so we had the windows open and the breeze coming in.  We ate dinner.  The boys wrestled and laughed with each other on the couch.  Charlotte danced with her daddy and squeezed his cheeks between her chubby little palms and told him how much she loves him.  I made chocolate chip cookies.  We ate (tons) of cookies.  The boys played a video game and when Porter got to a part where he needed help he yelled for his brother.  Paxton responded with, "A brother's work is never done." We listened to everyone's best and worst parts of their day.  We heard all about "the kisser girls" on the playground.  We laughed.  We tickled each other.  We picked out a few things to take to the hospital for the baby.  We read books.  We listened to music.  We prayed. We meditated.  We did the same things we do every night, pretty much.  Nothing exciting, nothing different, nothing unusual.

After the kids went to bed and I was cleaning up, I had this overwhelming feeling to stop and be so very thankful for nights like these.  Life is already starting to get hectic with school, and soccer, and gymnastics, and piano, and family and friends.  I want to remember these nights when our family had the chance to just BE.  Be together.  Be bored.  Be friends.  Be silly.  Be lazy.  Be cozy.  Be stuffed full of a yummy dinner we got to all eat together.  Be whatever we wanted to be.  Together.

Charlotte's 2nd Birthday in Photos

We just had a little family swim party at Karla and Dale's house.  The only birthday request was a princess cake.  I did my best.  Vegan princess cake is harder than it sounds! :)

It was a perfect little party for our perfect little 2 year old!!!  We are so lucky to have such an awesome extended family!  Grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, and tons of cousins make for perfect birthday guests!  

2

Dear Charlotte,

You are 2!!!  I can't even believe it!  And I don't even know where to begin.

This has been such a fun year with you.  You have changed from a baby to a toddler right before our eyes.  You are offically one of the big kids now.  I have so many things I want to remember about you right at this very moment...

- You are hysterical.  Every day you say and do the funniest things that leave all of us cracking up.  For instance, today at the pool you insisted on taking your life jacket off.  I told you that you must leave it on because it was keeping you safe.  You reply in your most whiny teenager voice, "It's not keeping me safe, it's making me MAD!"  And with that you just took it right off and proceeded to swim around, life jacketless.  Which leads me to...

 - You are a spitfire.  With a complete mind of your own.  You will do what you want to do, when you want to do it.  You are so capeable of gettine things done for yourself.  If you need something and no one is  accomidating you fast enough, you will just do it yourself.

- You are so sweet to me it is unbelievable.  You hug and kiss me hundreds of times a day.  You will say to me, "I love you so much mommy.  You my bessssssst friend," multiple times a day.  And I can never get enough of it.  You love me so much that when I leave your sight, or someone else tries to hold or love on you, you get a little aggitated.  I love the way you love me.  We really are best friends.

- You love for your daddy to "get you."  He will be sitting doing something completely unrelated to "getting you" and you will look at him and say, "Don't get me daddy!!!  Ahhhhhhhhhh!"  And take off running in the other direction.  You love to play and wrestle with your daddy and you sneak in some kisses and hugs too!

- You are 1000% girl.  We always wondered if you would be a tomboy growing up with two older brothers very close in age.  Nope.  Not going to happen.  You INSIST on wearing jewelry, "wipstick," dresses, and princess shoes, at all times.  Even to bed.  You will not sleep in normal pj's.  It must be a dress or look somewhat "princess."  Your favorite color is pink, your favorite book is Pinkalicious, you love "jewelries," and sit still as a statue for me to paint your toes and nails upon your request.

-  You love to play with your brothers, but insist your part in the play time is somewhat "princessy." When the boys play superheroes you will run around with them and say you are "superhero princess."  The boys were playing a pretend game of basketball and Paxton deemed himself Kevin Durant while Porter was Russel Westbrook.  They were making me cheer for them so I was yelling, "THUNDER! GOOOOOO THUNDER!"  And you chime in, "PRINCESS!  GOOOOOOOO PRINCESS!"  Apparently you were playing princess basketball.

- You love to dance.  And you have great rhythm.  You must have gotten that from me! :)

- You have an amazing vocabulary and surprise us with the things you say and pick up on.  Today alone these things have come out of your mouth:
    While backing out of the driveway, "Mommy, put on your seatbelt!"
    While sitting in the bathroom while Paxton poops, "That's concusting."  What Charlotte?  "I said that concusting."  What does that mean, Charlotte? "Bubba poo poo tinks.  It mells concusting."  Well then get out of the bathroom so you don't have to smell his disgusting poop, Charlotte! "Noooooooo!"
    I hurt myeslf and was crying a little when you approach, "What happened?"  Nothing, sis, I'm ok.  "Don't frow a fit then. Deep brefs, Mommy."  Thanks, Charlotte.
    While eating the sunbutter and jelly sandwich that you requested and subsquently changed your mind about, "I not want this.  It's yucky!"  Why is it yucky, Charlotte?  "Because it's not yummy, so it's yucky!"  Touche, sister!
You are never at a loss for words, and we are always left laughing when we hear what you have to say!

- You are everyone's baby girl and we are all completely obsessed with you.  Your brothers hug and kiss you so many times a day and give you what ever you want.  They just want you to be happy!

You are our angel.  Our one and only baby girl who we love so much.  You are sweet, sassy, loving, soft, rough, caring, bossy, opinionated, adorable, spicy, funny, little sidekick in the world.  And we all love you to pieces.  I can't believe it has only been and has already been 2 years since we met you for the first time, although you have lived in our hearts forever!  Happy 2nd birthday Baby Girl!  No matter how many times you tell us you are a "big durl" you will always be our baby!

LOVE YOU!

Three Little Big Kids

I always have hated cliche sayings, but there is a reason they become cliche.  The saying, "Time flies when you are having fun!" is our motto this summer.  And somehow during all of this fun the kids have all grown into new phases of their lives and personalities.

Paxton is a swimming fool!  He started swim lessons in January and had no concept of swimming before he started.  He wouldn't even go under water.  He has really amazed us with his progress over the past few months and especially since the summer started.  At the pool we go to there is a monster slide that you have to pass a swim test to go down.  You have to swim 25 meters unassisted without stopping.  I was truly shocked when today he did just that!  And subsequently went down the slide a hundred times.  He is becoming so brave and confident.  Pax has always been very aware of the consequences of things, thus a little timid when trying new things.  I am really so proud of his new found confidence with his swimming.  Now riding a bike without training wheels is a different story! :) But one thing at a time!

Porter is also swimming so well for his age, however, you still can't take your eyes off of him for a split second.  Unlike Pax, Porter has no fear with trying new things and can get a bit ahead of himself at times.  He has, however, started to form his own opinion more than ever before.  In the past Porter has always fallen in line with what Paxton decides to do.  Don't get me wrong, he still follows his big brother around like a shadow, but if he really wants to do one thing and Pax is doing something different he will decide to do what he wants more than he ever has before.  I think with Paxton starting full day school next year Porter will get a confidence booster being the biggest boy in the house for 7 hours a day.

Charlotte has crossed the threshold from being the baby to being one of the big kids.  She is still stuck to me like glue, but now she will disappear from my side for me to find her playing right along with her brothers.  She is entering the terrible 2's for sure, but is really surprising us with her ability to keep up with her brothers.  Her vocabulary is incredible, and she says the funniest things.  Although not always the nicest things, she always keeps us entertained!    

With the new baby coming in a few months, I have really tried to soak up every single moment with my three little big kids.  I will be out of the loop as far as my ability to participate in every single moment of their fun with a newborn, so I am so thankful for this summer where we are all together having a blast every day.  A few highlights have been:  frontier city, swimming every day, a long stay at Mema and Pops house, the water park, the park, hanging out with friends, the water slide at Noni and Roberts, just to name a few.  I have tons of photos I need to dump from my phone but haven't just yet.  

Although it is getting HOT HOT HOT we are loving every minute of our summer break.  It is going to be so hard for me to send my Biggest Little Big Kid to school in just over a month.  We will all miss him like crazy.  

Toys R Us?? More like Toys R Nuts!

The kids and I went to Toys R Us today to find Charlotte's birthday present.  I NEVER go to Toys R Us, and I am pretty sure the boys have only been there about 2 times in their entire lives.  Charlotte has never been.

I wanted to get Charlotte a kitchen for her birthday.  I browsed while I was at Target doing my grocery shopping and found nothing.  I could have ordered it off of the internet, but I didn't want to pay a ton for shipping (plus, true to Kate fashion, I waited too long to order it) so Toys R Us was my only option.

We walked in and I think my kids went into sensory overload.  The boys were jumping from one toy to the next asking what we were going to buy.  Charlotte was in the basket screaming, "There's my Dora!  There's my Princess!  I want my giraffe!" Pretty much every toy we passed she screamed this.  I was on a mission to find my one item and get out of there.

I grabbed the kitchen, put all of the toys that the kids had knocked off the shelves back in their appropriate spots and went to the register.  When we went to checkout with not ONE extra toy and no one begging or throwing a fit I stood there so proud of my little clan.  No one was upset or angry that they were leaving empty handed.  I had found the kitchen that I wanted was on sale for over half off, which I was really proud of as well.  So what do you think I did??????  Well I did what any sucker would do and I got out of line and let my kids go pick out a toy.  What is wrong with me!?!?!?!  We need more toys like we need a hole in the head.  I was actually spending less money than I had planned for once in my life.  No one asked for anything or even wanted anything to be real honest, and I got out of the check out line and went back into the depths of Toys R Us for my kids to waste more money on toys!

There is something wrong with me.  I will not be going back there again for a really long time.  Not because my kids acted crazy, but because I did!!!  I just get so soft when they are all sitting there looking like adorable little munchkins and get I get WEAK!  Those sweet precious little faces impair my judgement from time to time!

Pregnancy #4...The Facts

I haven't been blogging for a long time, and I feel a little sad about that.  So many fun things have been going on with the kids that I have failed to document which was the whole purpose for starting this blog in the first place.  I am going to start playing catch up a bit, and I think this is an appropriate place to start considering this is why I feel off the blogging wagon for a bit.  I am going to start with the facts.  I will get to the feelings in another post.  To go at it with the facts and the emotions all in one post would take me FOREVER to get through.  I will split it up as both the facts and the feelings will be better understood this way.

This pregnancy started off similar to all the others.  Crazy excited, super surprised, a little scared, EXTREMELY nauseated, incredibly lucky, thankful beyond belief.

I picked an OB/GYN based on one of my best friends recommendations.  She really loved this doctor and his office was close to my house and he delivered at the hospital I wanted to deliver at so I was pretty convinced.  Oh, and he did an ultrasound at every appointment which was an added bonus!  Luckily, I had already made an appointment for a checkup months before finding out I was pregnant so I just changed that to a prenatal appointment, and I got in to see him pretty quickly after finding out.  I really liked him straight out of the gate.  He did an ultrasound and we saw a little tiny heartbeat.  I was immediately in love once again.

Skip past the disgusting nausea and a lot of respiratory illness being passed around our house, finding out we were having another baby boy, and a lot of traveling for Scott to my 16 week appointment.  I had an ultrasound, as usual.  Dr. N pointed out that the babies kidney's were slightly enlarged, however, he stressed this was very common in boys.  Me, being the Google M.D. that I am, pushed and pushed him to tell me everything and anything that could be causing the enlarged kidneys.  Hesitantly, he goes through the list which started with nothing at all and ended with Down's Syndrome.  Since this was my 16 week appointment I opted for the Quad Screen blood work that I have opted out of during every other pregnancy.  This blood test is a "screening" not a diagnostic test, which I knew, but I wanted to have it anyway.  Now we wait 7-10 days for results.

I got the call from Dr. N over a week later that my blood work had come back "abnormal."  This screening test gives you a risk factor for having a baby with a specific birth defect.  Everyone my age, race, etc. starts out with a 1/680 chance of having a baby with Down's Syndrome.  My test results returned a risk factor of 1/128 chance of having a baby with DS.  So on we go to the Perinatologist for further testing.

Because I have the best doctor ever, I got in to see the Perinatologist a week (instead of a month) later for a level 2 ultrasound.  I went to this ultrasound knowing that I would not get a yes or no if the baby had DS, and if I wanted to know for sure I could do an amniocentesis after my ultrasound.  After my ultrasound, Dr. B let me know that the ultrasound returned nothing abnormal other than the slightly enlarged kidneys (I don't know exactly what the percentages mean, but normal kidneys are about 28%, our babies were 32%), however with the quad screen results and the enlarged kidneys we were given a 1/64 chance that the baby had DS.  Obviously, I can do math and know that this still gave us less than a 2% chance of having a baby with DS, but I also knew that the odds went from being 1/680 to 1/64.  Dr. B went on to explain that the only way to know with more accuracy was to (1) wait until the baby was born since the outcome of the pregnancy would not change either way, (2) travel to a large city (LA, San Diego, Chicago, etc) for a brand new blood test that was not yet offered in Oklahoma called the MaterniT21, however this would not be covered by my insurance and would probably cost us an arm and a leg but was less invasive and 99% accurate, or (3) have an amniocentesis which poses a risk of miscarriage.  I kept looking at her and looking at Scott wanting someone to tell me what to do.  I knew that knowing wouldn't change how much I already loved my baby, however I have 3 other young children that I want to prepare for their new brother as best as I can.  Finally, Dr. B told me not to decide that day.  To go home and pray/sleep/discuss it and call back and they could schedule me for the anmio if that's what I decided.

We went home and did just that and I decided that I really wanted to know.  I am a planner and a researcher and I wanted to be as prepared as I possibly could be.  I went for my level 2 ultrasound on Tuesday.  On Wednesday I called to make an appointment for the anmio.  They had one opening in the next week and it was the next day.  I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible so I went ahead and made the appointment for the next day.

I went in Thursday (2 days after my initial appointment with Dr. B) to have an amniocentesis (which I was terrified about, but I will get to the feelings later).  I went back into the room and a few minutes later Dr. B comes walking in with a huge smile on her face and says, "I think it is a sign.  Guess what was on my desk when I got to work this morning?  12 boxes of the MaterniT21 blood test!"  That is the same blood test she had told me about 2 days before that was not offered in Oklahoma.  She went on to tell me that she had not been contacted by a drug rep and didn't know anything about the test, so she called the company and got all the info and if I wanted to do it I would be the first patient in OK to have it done.  Of course my sister and I (she went with me because Scott couldn't go) both immediately said a loud Thank You to God and opted for the the blood test over the anmio right away!  The test took 10 business days to get back, but whatever results I got would be 99.1% accurate.

8 days later I got a call from Dr. B that the test showed "negative" for DS.  This sent my risk factor to 1/6400.

From start to finish it was several weeks and a whole range of different emotions.  Needless to say, we have no guarantees of having a perfectly healthy baby, as no one does.  What we do know now is that the babies kidneys are not enlarged due to DS, and now we continue to monitor the babies kidneys throughout the rest of the pregnancy, and we continue to pray for our son the way we have since the first day we found out we were pregnant and every day since.

Now I am almost 24 weeks pregnant and excited beyond belief to meet the newest addition to our family, just as we have been each and every day of this pregnancy, just as we will be until the day he makes his debut.  We all love him so much and are so thankful for this gift from God that is our fourth child.  Our third son.  Our baby brother.  Our Angel.

Too good to be true

I went in for my OB appointment a couple of weeks ago. I was 13 weeks, and my doctor does an ultrasound every appointment so I knew I was going to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. I had a good feeling it was a boy but wanted confirmation. Scott was out of town so I had to go by myself, which was fine. It's funny how when I was pregnant with Paxton, Scott went to every appointment. When I was pregnant with Porter he went to about every other appointment. When I was pregnant with Charlotte he went to the one where we had an ultrasound. This time I guess he won't be going to any! :) It is really okay though. There's really not much reason for him to go because I am really good at giving him all the details! Anyway I had to see the PA (who I had never met) because the Doctor had just left for a delivery. She comes in and starts in with the ultrasound and I can see the good stuff. I say, "Is it a boy?!?!?" She looks at me wondering if I'm sure I want to know and I nod her on. "Yes!!! It's a boy!!" I immediately burst into tears.

This was the appointment that I had been looking forward to. To know that the baby was still growing and developing as he should be. It really solidified things for me. Instead of we are having another baby, we are having a baby BOY!!! I was sobbing, which if you know me even a little you know this is NOT out of the ordinary. It doesn't take much for me to shed a tear, and if I have even the slightest reason, happy or sad, I turn into a sack of sobs. It freaked out that poor PA though, I could tell. She kept asking me if I was ok. I think at one point she asked me if I needed a moment. I told her I was fine, that I just was just a crier and she left as quick as she could. I got myself together and got my things and walked out to leave. The Dr. had just come back from his delivery and grabs me to ask what I found out. I, again, burst into tears and yell IT'S A BOY!!!! He bursts into laughter as I have warned him that he will see me cry pretty much every appointment when I see the baby's face. His sweet nurse asks me if I am ok and I just looked at her and said, "I just feel like my life is too good to be true!" Then I tell her that I think I made the PA nervous. She said that a lot of people come in to find out and it is not what they were wanting and they leave in a puddle of tears because they are upset. That's a little interesting to me, but different strokes for different folks I guess. I assured her that I was thrilled to be having a boy and I promised I would get it together!

I really wish I had better control over my emotions sometimes, like when around strangers!  But I really do feel like my life is too good to be true which brings me to tears on most days.  Usually, I reserve these moments for when I am alone, at the end of the day when we have just gotten everyone in bed.   My husband who I adore and love like crazy is in his office waiting for me to come in to hang with him, I go and check on the boys and see them snuggling tight with each other, Charlotte is snoozing in her bed looking like a precious angel, all is quiet and dark in my comfortable safe home.  We have full bellies from a good dinner and are tired from a full day spent together.  This is when I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the most amazing life that I am fortunate enough to lead.  This is when I shed my tears almost every day.  In quiet, in private. But not this day!  This day I let it all hang out in front of the perfect stranger Physician's Assistant and everyone else in that office!  And I'm not ashamed of it in the slightest bit!!

Just hit her back!

Porter was getting all of his markers and paint perfectly set up so he could enjoy craft time. Charlotte comes over to do what she does best, destroy Porter's perfect arrangement. If she just glances in the direction of where he is sitting, and he knows what she is up to, he will start screaming bloody murder. This gets her even more revved up to complete her path of destruction. She runs over there with her arm cocked back in the "I'm going to hit you" position, and in 2 seconds flat she performs her perfect follow through. Porter is still screaming, but just taking it like the sweet little dude he is. Never on earth would he think of hitting her back. I was across the room with my hands full of something and couldn't get over to the slugfest in time. Porter looks at me with this look in his eyes like "what do I do?!?!" so I say, "Porter, just hit her back." This is not our conventional approach to problem solving, but I kinda felt sorry for the little guy getting beat up by his little sister, and quite honestly we go with other forms of discipline to get her to stop hitting with little to no luck so I thought that maybe that might work. If she got whacked back just one time maybe she would STOP!

Charlotte, still slugging away, Porter, still taking it, looks at me again with those eyes. I say, "Porter, just hit her back!" He looks at me funny and takes his hands and turns her around and hits her on the back! He had no idea of this concept of retaliation and took my words quite literally. He whacks her on the back and she whacks him back. He looks at her again, turns her around, and hits her on the back once again. By this time I had cleared my hands and ran over to stop the madness, all the while dying laughing.

I love that my sweet little dude would never even think to hit his baby sister. Good thing because we will not be using this method in the future. Apparently that just fuels Charlotte's fire to hit harder. We will be going back to time out!

5

Paxton,

You are 5 years old. 5! 5 years old! I can't believe it! 5 puts you into a whole different category of life. You really are a big boy now! And I could not be more proud of the big boy that you are.

The thing about you that makes me most proud is your kind heart. You are patient, you are kind, and you are considerate, even at 5 years old. You listen. You try so hard at everything you do. You are amazing.

I cried the whole day of your birthday this year. Tears of joy. Tears of disbelief. I know it sounds so cliche, but I just don't know where the last 5 years have gone. It seems like today I woke up and all of a sudden you were a 5 year old little boy. You are no longer the tiny baby we brought home from the hospital that had a tummy ache and was so uncomfortable, but still had the best belly laugh I have ever heard in my life. You are no longer the toddler who was a little unsteady on his feet, running around our house so fast you fell head first into the wooden door frame and dented the wood with your hard head! You are no longer the 2 year old who would sing "Thhhhhaaatttt'ssss Elmo's World" over and over but instead of Elmo you would replace it with the different names of people in our family. You are no longer the 3 year old boy who's role as a big brother of 1 was revised to a big brother of 2. A job that you do so well and take so seriously. You are no longer a 4 year old boy who would tell knock knock jokes to no end that made absolutely no sense. You are now a 5 year old boy. Who is missing his bottom front tooth. Who is learning to swim so well. Who has conversations with his mommy and daddy that are well beyond his years. Who is nice to everyone. Who loves to draw pictures of superheroes and shares everything with his brother. You are a 5 year old boy who thinks he loves attention, but once it's upon you, gets shy and quiet. You are a 5 year old boy that reduces his mommy to tears daily remembering the sweetness and perfection you have displayed that day. You are a 5 year old boy that is a perfect role model for his siblings.

Paxton, you are the first child to ever have my heart. You are sweet and smart and sensitive and thoughtful. You are funny and silly and full of joy. You are different. You are perfect. You are mine. And I love you more than anything in the world.

Happy 5th birthday big boy!

Love,

Mom

A Birthday Poem from Pops

MY PAL PAXTON

On March the 8^th 2007

A Gift Came Down To Us From Heaven.

A Handsome Big Boy and Number One Son

Whom Kate and Scott Named Paxton.

He Loved To Smile And Play All Day

But At Night He Acted Another Way.

He’d Toss And Turn And In Sleep He Would Cry

So Mom And Dad Asked The Doctors Just Why.

They Ran Lots Of Tests On Our Little Boy

And Thought He Might Not Like Soy.

Finally They Decided With No Ifs Ands Or Buts,

That Pax Was Allergic to Dairy and Nuts.

What Pax Couldn’t Eat Gave His Mom And Dad Fits

Until They Discovered Chicken Nuggets.

What Else Can Pax Eat His Mom Thought With A Sigh.

How About, Said His Dad, Hideaway Pizza Pie?

On His Special Diet Pax Just Grew and Grew

And Spread Happiness To All That He Knew.

He Learned All His Letters And Started To Talk

It Seemed That He Did It Before He Could Walk.

In Owasso He’d Run, Jump And Play Very Hard

In Robert And Noni’s Green, Spacious Backyard.

With Mimaw He’d Snuggle And Ask For A Story.

Then With Old Papas He’d Sing “That’s Amore.”

He Loves Brother Porter and Charlotte His Sis

And Makes Them Feel Special With A Bubba Hug And A Kiss.

To His Mother And Father He Brings Only Joy.

They Love Him So Much, Their First Baby Boy.

So On His Fifth Birthday We All Say Out Loud,

We Love Our Boy Paxton, He Makes Us So Proud!

Happy Birthday, My Pal!

Papas

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

I prayed for you. Before I even knew you were to be, I prayed for you.

It was the longest I have gone without being pregnant since I learned I was pregnant with Paxton in June 2006. I found out I was pregnant with Porter shortly after Paxton's first birthday. I found out I was pregnant with Charlotte when Porter was 9 months old. Charlotte was over one and a half, and I wasn't pregnant. It was about that time. But was it?

We always knew we wanted a "big family" before we even started having kids. How big is a "big family" anyway?

We went through all of the usual questions, I guess you could say. How would the kids respond to having another sibling? Can my body handle this again? Can our marriage handle this again? Can our bank account handle this again? The answer was simply, "We don't know." But we have never known. Not before Pax or Port or Charlotte. We never knew how all the pieces would fall together, but what we did know is that our lives would be richer, our hearts would grow bigger, and we would slowly figure the answers out. But with all of that being said we weren't really sure if it was time again. So I prayed.

I prayed that I would KNOW. I would know if it was time now, or later, or ever. I prayed and I didn't think about it anymore. I didn't think about it anymore until that day I drug the babies into Walgreens on the way to pick Paxton up from school. I was anxious and impatient. We had plans after school and I knew I wasn't going to be home for a while, so what else is a girl to do but take the pregnancy test right there in the Walgreens bathroom with the babies slithering around on the dirty floor. It was one of those pregnant/not pregnant tests so it seemed like an eternity before the word PREGNANT popped up in that window. WHAT?!?!?! I mean I know I had asked for guidance just a few weeks before, but I thought that I was going to get this feeling like "oh yes we are supposed to have another baby." And I would go to Scott with this beautiful story of how it had been in my heart to have another baby. Instead when we got home from the park I sat him down and said point blank I'M PREGNANT!! And what does Scott say? I knew it!

So there you go, baby. We are over the moon excited to meet you. Do we still have all of the same questions? Of course. But now we have other more important questions to ask ourselves, like, are you a boy or a girl? What are we going to name you? Who are you going to look/act like? And all of that other fun stuff. The unknown will all come to be known in due time. The one thing I know NOW is that you were meant to be a part of our family, and each and every one of us loves you more already than we ever knew we could!

Love,

Your momma

Happy Anniversary!

Scott,

Today we have been married 8 years! When comparing it to the tomorrows we have left, 8 years doesn't seem like long, but comparing it to the yesterday's past, I feel like 8 years is a lifetime. And it has been a lifetime. I feel like my life really started over when we started dating.

More has happened in the last 8 years of our lives than the previous 22 it seems. And we've been through it all together. We have experienced some incrediably high high's. Getting our first jobs, buying our first few homes, starting our own family traditions, having a baby, and another baby and another baby, financial peaks, amazing friendships, watching loved ones get married and have babies, getting to know each other better, getting to know our parents and siblings on a different level, getting to know ourselves better.

We have also experienced some low low's. Job loss, DEATH, religious differences, the stress of being apart when you're traveling. I know there is more that aren't coming to mind now. Those aren't the things that stick to my memory.

And now 8 years later we are stronger, more in love, better people, because we experienced all of these things together. We were just babies when we got married and we heard the statistics. We knew we wouldn't be a statistic. And we aren't. We could have been. We could still be. But we won't. We won't because we don't want to be. Because we love each other that much. Not because we have kids or because we share a bank account or because of what other people would think. Because we love each other. That much.

I am not ashamed to say that we haven't always had a perfect marriage. Anyone who says they do is lying. I am happy to say that we have a really solid, incrediable, loving, accepting, understanding marriage. All because we have earned it. Because we try. Because we are best friends. Because we are a team. We are two halves to a whole. We need each other and we know that.

I love you, Scott. More than words can ever express....

Scott

I've been MIA. It's a long story. I'll get to that another day.

In honor of my anniversary and Valentine's Day, I am dedicating this week of blog posts to Scott.

After 8 years of marriage and 2 years of dating, I am still realizing things about Scott that I love every day. Today while I was laying on the couch in the fetal position and Scott was cleaning the kitchen, bathing the kids, taking out the trash, etc., I realized that Scott really steps up.

I am a helicopter. I hover over everyone in my household, basically telling them how to do everything. It is a weakness of mine for sure. I remember when Scott and I had only been married for a very short time I got on to him one morning for not making the bed the right way. He, very sweetly, told me that he was more than willing to make the bed every morning, but it wasn't going to look exactly like it did when I made it. He had a little different technique and it looked just as nice, just a little different. So, if I wanted him to make the bed I had to let him do it and stop hovering over him telling him how to do it. I didn't ask again. I liked the way I did it and didn't want him to mess it up. Helicopter.

Since I have been staying home for the last 5 years I have gotten even worse about this. It's hard for me to let other people do things around the house because they don't do it the way I do it, and come on, I do it pretty well so why wouldn't they do it the way I do. This is a monster I have created, however, I get frustrated with everyone else (aka Scott) for not helping out enough. I am aware that this is not fair, however, it's hard for me to remember that from time to time.

I haven't been feeling well lately. As I laid on the couch and watched Scott perform all of the things I normally do, I was so impressed with how good he actually is at it all. It got me to thinking about all the times when I needed help, but was too proud to ask, and Scott stepped up to the plate.

Every time I get pregnant Scott goes into training it seems. He works out harder, eats healthier, and works harder so that he is in his prime for when the baby comes.

Charlotte wakes up ridiculously early some days and then goes down for a morning nap before the rest of the family is even awake. If I doze back off with Charlotte, Scott gets up with the boys and makes them breakfast and lets me sleep.

Anything that even remotely resembles manual labor, ie. moving furniture around, carrying heavy things upstairs, etc., he takes care of it and tells me to "just sit and look pretty."

When I am feeling puny, like today, and am not up for much of anything he steps up. He does what needs to be done. Without me hovering like a helicopter telling him how to do everything. He is awesome. He is seriously so so awesome.

I am glad that after 8 years of marriage I still don't take him for granted. When he is traveling for work things just don't feel right around here. Sometimes his way is the better way. And now I know that.

Dragon Babies

They kids all have such adorable imaginations, and they are all so different.

Charlotte plays "house" with her babies all day long. She carries around this one baby and this little pillow all day. The baby, and the pillow, have to go everywhere with us.

Porter has his own language. He makes up words for everything that sound like gibberish. For example, apparently "blukie" means soup. Don't ask.

Paxton will play with his action figures and robots and cars and trucks all day long. I can hear him in the other room making up these elaborate stories about what all of his characters are doing.

One day several weeks ago, Porter and Paxton were playing behind this chair in my bedroom for what seemed like forever. Paxton would come out from behind the chair and bark some orders at Porter to stay behind and "protect the babies." When they are playing so nicely and independently like this I don't want to say a word to them as not to distract them from this pleasant play. Finally, I had to know what was going on, so I asked Paxton what they were doing behind the chair. "We are protecting our dragon babies." I looked back behind that chair and what do you think was back there...about 500 Q-tips! Apparently the Q-tips were their dragon babies and Porter was the mommy and Paxton was, of course, the daddy. Needless to say, the term dragon babies stuck.

I was talking to my mom the other day telling her about the doctor's appointment I had just finished up with the boys, "Well they have a virus, I guess. The nurse stuck that dragon baby up their nose and they tested negative for the flu."

Scott's ear was itching the other day and I saw him scratching it. I said, "what's wrong with your ear?" He replies, "it is itching like crazy. I wish I had a dragon baby so I could scratch it on the inside."

Porter, having to go back to the doctor still sick, says, "please mommy, don't let them stick that dragon baby back up my nose!!!"

So if you ever hear me refer to a dragon baby, at least you are up to speed on the terminology now!

Unconditional Love

The day Scott and I got married I didn't think I could love him any more than I did that day. We spent the first year of dating just staring at each other. Seriously, we would just sit there...and stare at each other. We spent the next year talking a little more and staring a little less, which made me love him even more. I knew unconditional love before I met Scott from my family and friends, but this was a different kind of love than I had ever felt before.

Then we had Paxton. The unconditional love I once knew had changed again. It is unexplainable. Of course, I loved Paxton more than I could have ever imagined and now I loved Scott in a different way than before too. My heart was overflowing.

When I was pregnant with Porter I was so scared. I thought there was no way I could love another child the way I loved Paxton. Then he was born. And sure enough, oh my goodness, did I seriously have 2 perfect children and a husband that I was crazy about?

And then comes Charlotte. This is getting too good to be true. I cried pretty much my whole pregnancy with Charlotte. I wondered if it was the extra estrogen inside my body, but seriously, I was just so in shock at how wonderful it was that we were having another baby...and a baby GIRL at that.

And now I know unconditional love like never before. It is something that I can't describe in any other way.

Scott and I will celebrate 8 years of marriage next month. We dated for 2 years before that. 10 years we have been together. I am 30 years old. I have spent one third of my life with Scott. Experiencing this love like no other. Watching my heart grow and change in ways I didn't know existed. My love for Scott, my love for my children, and my love for God have grown by leaps and bounds over the last 10 years. I can't wait to see what the next 10 will bring.

Thank You Mother Nature

It has been so beautiful! We have taken full advantage of the beautiful weather going to eat lunch outside at Whole Foods, going to the park, driving with the windows down and the music up! It has been the best January I remember in a long time. I am not much for snow or cold weather so the 60+ degrees is just fine with me!

What a great way to start the new year!

Awe, tute mommy!!!

We have always wondered if Charlotte is going to be a girly girl or a tomboy. With two older brothers the potential to be a tomboy is extremely high. But with a mother like me... it could go either way.

She is rough and tumble, but the girl LOVES girl stuff. She is always going through my makeup and putting on my lipstick. She loves her baby dolls and she loves shoes. Every time she sees my toenails painted or sees me with lipstick on she says, "Awe, tute mommy!"

So today when I got home from my pedicure and she saw my polish change she takes one look and says, "Awe, tute mommy! I too! I too!" and runs into the bathroom. So what was a girl to do but paint her little piggys!!!

I Whim

The boys started swim lessons this week. They both did really well and seemed to like it. I was surprised at how they don't waste any time putting them under on the first day. I have high hopes that they can swim by the time summer rolls around. I am highly paranoid around water, so having 2 of the 3 swimming would greatly calm my nerves this year. We shall see.

**Disclaimer: I realize that these pictures are horrible because of the glare of the flash off of the glass, but hey at least I remembered my camera!**

I was most dreading dealing with Charlotte during the 30 minute lesson. Charlotte LOVES to swim. She asks on a daily basis to go swimming. Some mornings the first thing to come out of her mouth is, "I whim. Go bye bye. Go poo." I knew that her feelings were going to be so hurt that she didn't get to swim with the boys. The lesson started out like this...

Luckily there was a vending machine and I bribed her with a huge bag of fruit snacks. Note to self: come equipped with $.85 to every swim lesson. I really do feel bad for her, but you have to be 3 years old. I am going to have to figure out a way to get this girl in a pool some time soon! The girl loves to "whim!"

Laughing at The Letter Show

Paxton knew his ABC's by the time he was 15 months old. At 18 months he could identify every letter of the alphabet in no particular order. We had all of these fridge magnet letters and you would say to him, "Paxie, go find mommy the X," and he would run in there and grab it and bring it to you. Everyone who witnessed it couldn't believe it.

He also has an incredible memory for numbers and vocabulary. It would always shock strangers in the grocery store, for instance, when he was a baby and people would ask how old he was. This little boy would say, "Um 16 months." And then when he was 17 months and 18 months and so on, he knew that too.

I am pretty sure Paxton has a photographic memory. This doesn't surprise me because I do too. People have always thought I was smart because I did well in school. It wasn't because I was smart, necessarily, I just have a really good memory so I did well on tests. As a result of his photographic memory, Paxton has pretty much every book that we own memorized. And I'm not talking the short little dinky books. I am talking the Bearnstein Bears and Dr. Seuss books. EVERY ONE OF THEM! To the point if you say the instead of that he will correct you. Because of this he has been able to read since he was barely 4. He knows quite a lot of site words and can sound things out bizarrely well.

Because of all of this I forget he is just a little 4 year old boy sometimes. Our Pediatrician in OKC always used to tell me, "Since Pax is so verbal you will always have to remind people that he is only 3 or only 4. Emotionally he is just a little boy." I do have to remind myself of this from time to time, but he does a good job or reminding me of this too. He is a silly little boy. He gets his giggle box turned on and can't turn it off. This gets me to laughing, which gets Charlotte and Porter laughing and then we are all cracking up and half the time me and the other kids don't even know why.

Tonight we were watching Wheel of Fortune. My sis and I have always loved The Wheel and because of Paxton's love of letters he has always loved it too. He was just a little boy and would ask if we "could watch the letter show." For some reason the dummy's could not figure out the puzzles tonight. One of the before and after puzzles was "Just in the nick of time magazine." This guy guesses "just in the nick of time machine." WRONG! I see Paxton's eyebrows narrow and can tell he is concentrating really hard and then he says, "just in the nick of time ham sandwich." WHAT?!?!?! I start cracking up, he starts cracking up, the other two join in, and we are laughing until we cry for about 5 minutes. I don't know why I thought that was so funny, but we laughed on and off about that ham sandwich comment the rest of the night. He was really proud of himself for making everyone laugh.

Everyone is good at something. Some people are good at sports, some people are good with tools, some people are good at art. Paxton is good with words and numbers, but he could care less. What he wants to be is funny!

December

I am a horrible photographer. This is the best photo I got of all 3 together over the holidays! Seriously?!?! I need some help. I keep telling Scott I need a fancy camera, I think that is the problem! :)

December was so packed full of fun stuff I feel the need to document it here...

We wrapped up gymnastics. The boys had their last class of the session and, unfortunately, we won't be doing gymnastics in the spring. We are going to start swim lessons so hopefully by the time summer rolls around the boys will be stronger swimmers. Since I don't like to have the boys in too many activities at once, we decided to take a break from gymnastics while we do swimming. They absolutely LOVED gymnastics though and will pick it up again in the summer. And they LOVED their coaches. One of the coaches happens to be my sister's best friend since childhood who has known me since birth. Pretty cool for my kids to get to know her better and for them to learn from her. Loved the experience.

Paxton had his Christmas program at school. It was adorable. They sang 6 songs and did such a wonderful job. The only bad part is that Pax was sick as a dog! The weather was changing back and forth from cold to warm and this always gets him coughing. I took him to the doctor and she gave him some steroids for his asthma. He had a bit of a reaction to the steroid and it was making him feel crummy, not to mention he was as pale as a ghost. He did a great job though and I was very proud. Of course I was choking back tears the whole time looking at my big boy up there. Luckily I didn't lose it since I would have looked like a total goober crying at the Christmas program.

We went to OKC a few days before Christmas so I could have some much needed time with my girlfriends. I went to dinner with friends 2 nights and it was such a blessing to spend time with some of the best people I know! Nobody in the world has better girlfriends than I do. Seriously, I don't know what I would do without these people.

While we were there we went to the zoo and went to see Santa. We spent some great time with my mom and dad and the kids had a total blast. The only bad thing is that our Baby Avery was sick, sick, sick. After a sky high fever and a trip to the ER she was feeling good enough to spend some time playing with the cousins on Christmas Eve, thank God.

We also checked into the Hampton Inn in downtown OKC so the kids could swim and feel like they had a little vacation. The only problem is that somehow we managed to get out of town without Paxton's swimsuit in the pool bag. I was in the bathroom getting my suit on and I hear all hell breaking loose in the room. I go out and find Pax having a nervous breakdown over the swimsuit. I felt awful. He was so looking forward to this swimming experience and all we had in the pool bag for him to swim in was this...

Being the perfect little angel he is, he sucked it up and had a blast. I really couldn't stop laughing the whole time we were swimming. I also felt like I needed to explain to everyone at the pool why he was wearing this goofy looking swimsuit. He is so sweet that the next morning when we were getting ready to go swimming he said, "I really still miss my other swimsuit, but I had a good time in this one yesterday so I guess I'll wear it again. Just this one last time." I love that kid so much it's crazy.

We headed back to Tulsa where Santa Claus came to visit. This was a super fun year for the whole Santa thing. Pax was super into it and Porter loved it too.

We went to Scott's mom's house and had Christmas over there on Christmas Day. The kids love to play with their cousins, and it was really warm for December so they got to play outside a little too. It was awesome!

We wrapped up the month of December and 2011 with a quick dinner of sushi for me and Scott and then home to play with the kids and ring in the new year as a family. Pax really wanted to stay up until midnight so we let him try. Porter was out by 1030. Paxton hung in there until about 1115 and then started asking every 2 minutes what time it was. At about 1120 he dozed off on the couch and sprung up really quick to say, "I think I fell asleep for a second on accident. What time is it?" We told him it was midnight and kissed him happy new year and put him in bed. It was a perfect ending to 2011 and beginning to 2012.

Throughout the whole month we were all battling colds and croup and ear infections and snot galore, but we had such a fantastic month it is definitely one for the books.

I was thinking tonight while I was watching the kids play in the backyard that every day of my life is better than the one before. I am not one for "resolutions," but this year I am going to show my gratitude for this amazing life better. I am going to soak up every minute of everything and praise God for all the amazing gifts bestowed upon me more than ever before. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Everything!