Too good to be true

I went in for my OB appointment a couple of weeks ago. I was 13 weeks, and my doctor does an ultrasound every appointment so I knew I was going to find out if the baby was a boy or a girl. I had a good feeling it was a boy but wanted confirmation. Scott was out of town so I had to go by myself, which was fine. It's funny how when I was pregnant with Paxton, Scott went to every appointment. When I was pregnant with Porter he went to about every other appointment. When I was pregnant with Charlotte he went to the one where we had an ultrasound. This time I guess he won't be going to any! :) It is really okay though. There's really not much reason for him to go because I am really good at giving him all the details! Anyway I had to see the PA (who I had never met) because the Doctor had just left for a delivery. She comes in and starts in with the ultrasound and I can see the good stuff. I say, "Is it a boy?!?!?" She looks at me wondering if I'm sure I want to know and I nod her on. "Yes!!! It's a boy!!" I immediately burst into tears.

This was the appointment that I had been looking forward to. To know that the baby was still growing and developing as he should be. It really solidified things for me. Instead of we are having another baby, we are having a baby BOY!!! I was sobbing, which if you know me even a little you know this is NOT out of the ordinary. It doesn't take much for me to shed a tear, and if I have even the slightest reason, happy or sad, I turn into a sack of sobs. It freaked out that poor PA though, I could tell. She kept asking me if I was ok. I think at one point she asked me if I needed a moment. I told her I was fine, that I just was just a crier and she left as quick as she could. I got myself together and got my things and walked out to leave. The Dr. had just come back from his delivery and grabs me to ask what I found out. I, again, burst into tears and yell IT'S A BOY!!!! He bursts into laughter as I have warned him that he will see me cry pretty much every appointment when I see the baby's face. His sweet nurse asks me if I am ok and I just looked at her and said, "I just feel like my life is too good to be true!" Then I tell her that I think I made the PA nervous. She said that a lot of people come in to find out and it is not what they were wanting and they leave in a puddle of tears because they are upset. That's a little interesting to me, but different strokes for different folks I guess. I assured her that I was thrilled to be having a boy and I promised I would get it together!

I really wish I had better control over my emotions sometimes, like when around strangers!  But I really do feel like my life is too good to be true which brings me to tears on most days.  Usually, I reserve these moments for when I am alone, at the end of the day when we have just gotten everyone in bed.   My husband who I adore and love like crazy is in his office waiting for me to come in to hang with him, I go and check on the boys and see them snuggling tight with each other, Charlotte is snoozing in her bed looking like a precious angel, all is quiet and dark in my comfortable safe home.  We have full bellies from a good dinner and are tired from a full day spent together.  This is when I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the most amazing life that I am fortunate enough to lead.  This is when I shed my tears almost every day.  In quiet, in private. But not this day!  This day I let it all hang out in front of the perfect stranger Physician's Assistant and everyone else in that office!  And I'm not ashamed of it in the slightest bit!!