Nothing has been truer in my life. Everyday I learn a lesson from my children that makes me a better person. I have been re-reading this book that I absolutely love called The Mastery of Love. I read it once when Scott and I were first married. As I am re-reading it I feel like I am reading it for the first time, because the first time I read it I was reading it from the perspective of a wife. Now I am reading it from the perspective of a mother as well.
There is one chapter that really stands out to me. It is the chapter on innocence. It talks about how the innocence of children is so pure and perfect and as they grow that innocence is lost a little more with each new experience. Obviously, there is an element of losing innocence that is healthy and necessary. This is what keeps us from hurting ourselves and being reckless. The innocence that I want to try and salvage forever in my children is the acceptance, forgiveness, and caring for other people that we lose so much as we grow.
When I watch my kids play with each other and other children I can't help but notice that they do everything with a happy heart. They are carefree and uninhibited. They aren't wondering who is watching them and what someone else might think about the way they are playing. When they have a disagreement, they resolve it and move on as if it never happened. There is no grudge being held or plan to retaliate.
Paxton has a birth mark on his arm. The kids in his class noticed it the other day and were asking him about it. He was so proud that he had this birth mark "because it makes him different and special." And the other kids thought it was cool. He was trying to wear his sleeve rolled up so everyone could see it again the next day. He was never embarrassed about it. No one made fun of him for it.
Why don't adults act this way? Why are we so worried about what other people might think about us or the decisions we make in our lives? I have really been trying to regain that innocence of my children.
Everyone has different parenting styles. I appreciate and understand that me and almost all of my friends have a different one. I LOVE this and try and learn what others do and what works best for them. We use the "attachment approach to parenting." This is what works for our family, and I am fully aware this is NOT good for everyone. This is what is good for us. But because we have adopted this approach to parenting I read a lot of stuff by Dr. Sears who I find encouraging to this style of parenting. One thing that he says is "get behind the eyes of your child." He is referring to soothing techniques, sleep training, discipline, etc., but I have also been trying to do this in other aspects of my life, too. When I start to feel myself getting judgemental or negative I try and look at the situation from "the eyes of my children." It helps me so much to put things into perspective.
One thing I want my kids to know more than anything is that we are in a relationship with each other. It is not "me mother, you child." It is a partnership. If we guide each other we are all so much better versions of ourselves.
They had a blast and were completely tuckered by the time we got home. I LOVE this weather because my whole family loves to be outside. We could almost live outside.
